Friday, May 10

Review: Thief Simulator [Nintendo Switch eShop]

OK, so Thief Simulator… yeah, it’s a bit of a mess. Give the early footage from the game a look, calling the experience rough around the edges would be generous. I don’t doubt the hook of the experience may be enough to convince people to stick with it but overall this feels like a last (or maybe even earlier) gen effort at best not just in presentation but mechanics as well. The control is weird and sloppy, the tension in the game takes a back seat to aggravation more often than not, and far too much time is wasted on performing worthless intermediary tasks like opening car doors, starting the car, and taking a jank-ass drive out of the area. Yikes.

Score: 4

  • There really aren’t any experiences like it on the system
  • Maybe you like the tension of hoping you didn't park your car in a way that blocks traffic. Solution? Look inconspicuous parking it in people's yards... *sigh*

  • Far too much time wasted on loading screens and unnecessary/unexciting activities like driving your car, or mechanically walking around your base. Streamlining to isolate the excitement would at least make things more tolerable
  • If you’re going to crib lockpicking from Skyrim have it work sensibly. The need to position your pin, let go of the stick, see whether it opens, let the lock turn all the way back, and then reposition and try again is cumbersome and awful
  • Just everything is janky and last-last gen in appearance and mechanics