Hoo boy, while I try to have an open mind and to not form too many prejudices against any particular genre or subgenre, I have to admit that simulations that attempt to replicate random and pretty dull work tasks have a tendency to baffle me. I understand that some people can find repetitive and often simple tasks sort of relaxing and meditative, but an unfortunate tendency in the space is that these games are poorly implemented from top to bottom. Unfortunately, Metro Simulator 2, in its launch state, appears to be a bit of a poster child for this problem.

I’m guessing that while the job of being a subway operator is absolutely essential for keeping our public transportation moving, it wouldn’t likely be considered to be a dream job to anyone. Nevertheless, if you’ve always dreamed of apparently operating a subway in the Moscow Metro, complete with what looks like some pretty dated control systems, this is your chance. Thrill to the excitement of flipping a series of switches manually to get things powered up and primed to go! Get ready for the drama as you pull the lever to engage the system and control which direction it will go in! I would then be remiss to neglect mentioning that you’re going to want and need to remember all of the elements you need to activate and how for the future, since you won’t be going anywhere without executing all of what feels like around 15 individual steps. Can you feel the excitement yet?

Perhaps there could be some ray of hope if the experience was executed at least reasonably well. But no, at least in its launch state I can confirm that after trying 3 different times, somewhere along the way in the just the tutorial I hit a brick wall that I could find no means of getting past. No matter what button I pushed, or action I tried to take, even though I could sort of highlight the lever I needed to pull, I could find no means of pulling on or activating it. Perhaps the issue is some sort of user error, but the problem with that is that in theory I’m the person who paid for this game, and if I’m stuck less than 10 minutes into the experience, unable to even finish the tutorial, I’m going to be seriously pissed. 

That puts me in a tough spot for scoring the game, since even if it somehow worked flawlessly there’s absolutely loads of jankiness to it all. Then, given the experience this is simulating in the first place it feels like a serious snooze-fest, unless you’re somehow fixated on the thrilling career of public transportation operator, and enjoy what would seem to be dated infrastructure where everything is still highly manual to get working. The fact that it seems to also have at least one pretty big bug, before you’re even able to get started, and this is an easy title to throw under the bus, or I suppose in this case the subway car.