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Before getting to that detail we’ll review the action itself, which for the most part is adequate if a bit on the button-mashy side. In general throughout you’ll be working with a basic attack that builds up a meter that allows you to use a strong attack featuring Shaq’s massive feet or a powerful ground punch that knocks out anything in the immediate area. The Z shoulder buttons can sometimes be used for a counter, a finisher, or to pick up weapons when they’re available. The regular shoulder buttons enable a dash. If you’re using the joysticks (though I wouldn’t recommend this since at key moments it can be inconsistent at best) the right joystick will have you do a roll vertically on the screen but if you’re using the D-Pad you can just double-tap. As a whole the controls are relatively good aside from the occasional issues with the joystick when trying to break a stun by some characters which requires you move back and forth. Sometimes the joystick will work, but sometimes it just won’t register well and you’ll die for nothing. Getting into the areas of concern I want to address the weak tea defense I’ve seen for what passes as humor in the game. It’s not “politically incorrect”, it is sophomoric, shallow, and lazy. Some things that start semi-humorous like the blatant advertising for Icy Hot and Gold Bond are run into the ground and get tired through sheer repetition. Then there’s the “fun with stereotypes” humor that’s run into the ground with Asians and homosexuals as the primary targets that feels at least a decade out of place. Throw in some pretty sad “celebrity” bosses like someone meant to be Kim Kardashian who, I kid you not, turns into a giant thong-wearing butt that harms you with flatulence and you get the impression some teenage boys were in charge of providing their “best material” for this effort. Don’t forget a whale that looks like Michael Moore. Get it? He’s fat… so he’s a whale! Oh, how they really skewer these celebs with that biting commentary! What you’re left with, in the end, is an adequate brawler that tends to vary between too easy (while the enhanced Big Diesel and Shaq-tus modes are cute they’re not very challenging) to tough for the wrong reasons (control issues breaking out of stuns). Through each of the areas you visit enemies can be cosmetically different, and have some nuance, but they’re still a bit cookie cutter and all come from roughly the same 5 core types. This makes for finding patterns you’ll follow to success and, for the most part, there’s not much of a need for more than some basic strategies to stay alive until you get to the boss and need to figure out their patterns. The result is just a run-of-the-mill beat-em-up that seems to be using its “humor” to compensate. If that all sounds great to you, enjoy.
Justin Nation, Score:Bad [5.5]