This far into the lifecycle of the Switch, having played so many local multiplayer action romps of varying levels of quality, while I do try to remain hopeful as each new one shows up in my inbox, I’ll admit it’s hard not to be a cynic. Out of all of the styles of games on the system that seems to be the most filled with shovelware-esque mediocrity, this may be the worst. It honestly reminds me of how crowded the Wii became with an onslaught of waggle-ware family games that had no new ideas and were just churned out with not even a hint of love. Well, it appears we have another title to add to the pile, and its name feels like it had more effort invested into it than the game itself.

The basics are that you and your friends will be playing as admittedly cute little characters called Shirimon. You’ll be able to choose from a number of core colors, representing different types of rice, and then adorn them with some other sushi ingredient to wear on their head. Once you’ve chosen your characters you’ll move on to selecting where your match will occur, with each location having some particular items and characteristics to help differentiate them. Your goal is to simply try to knock each other out of the arena, with the usual technique first being to stun them and then put them over the side. If you don’t happen to have some friends to play with you’ll also have the option to go solo, trying to fight off waves of little zombies instead.

The thing is, no matter what your characters can look like, or however many unique locations the game could throw at you, there’s no getting around the core gameplay being quite weak indeed. Calling character movement sluggish would be generous, while some local multiplayer games can at least thrive on fast-paced chaotic fun, this seems determined to go in the opposite direction. It’s honestly quite excruciating how slowly you move, and it felt all the more painful in the wave-based single-player mode where you’re just so incapable it’s annoying. All you’re really able to do is pick up items laying about and try to hit things with them in a sort of wacky physics style… but that’s really all there is. Consistent with that style you can also count on everyone being pretty wildly inaccurate or at least inconsistent trying to do it as well, heaping a bit of insult on to injury.

Overall, I’d say this title is a poster child for why my family has come to dread me making any mention of playing a new local multiplayer game with them. Yes, there have been some very pleasant surprises every once in a while, but those rarities struggle to keep up with so many that are merely forgettable or even worse. I suppose as one small bit of credit I’ve played titles where they’ve also been a buggy mess, and I at least can’t say I ran into any in this case. Nonetheless, the price for this experience is baffling and I’d outright warn people they should just likely avoid it.