Hey, hey, hey… it’s time to make some ca-raaazy money… Well, or not. I know I’m not alone harboring a crazy amount of nostalgia for the frantic dodging, weaving, and vehicular mayhem of Crazy Taxi. One look at Taxi Chaos immediately sent me into a spin with hopes of a modern take on that same iconic play. Well, on a mechanical level Taxi Chaos does pretty well everything correctly, you’ll be picking up passengers and trying to get through town quickly to get your fare and then immediately pick up someone else and continue until you run out of time. The problem is that for the most part nothing else came over in translation. Sure, you could lament the lack of the amazing soundtrack, replaced really by nothing but a generic quiet bit of music in the back, but there’s so much more missing here and that starts simply with energy. Your passengers, your driver, the city itself, the lack of the gravel-voiced dude getting things going… and perhaps this is why Sega hasn’t returned to the franchise, for fear of being unable to recapture lightning in a bottle. Unfortunately, no matter how hard you’re jonesing for even a hint of that old magic, Chaos will likely disappoint you with its technically accurate but pretty soulless overall experience.