Given that I’ve been playing video games since the days of Pong, I’m quite familiar with the fact that simplicity in appearance doesn’t necessarily correspond to poor gameplay. Having thrown a tremendous number of quarters into arcade units over the years, I’m also quite accustomed to how most of those games were inherently repetitive, and yet there are many I’m still happy to return to now. All of this is to say that more basic games don’t need to be bad, they just require a degree of earnest effort invested in order to help them to shine.

In this case, you’ll need to guide your slowly-growing group of “boys” to the exit, but since you’ll apparently need to get into a fight before they can go, you’ll need to maintain a specified minimum of them to proceed. Getting through each stage at first blush, weirdly enough, initially reminded me a little of the classic Zaxxon. With turrets firing at you from the front and sides, requiring you to weave your way through their beams while avoiding other elements, if you removed the complexity of dealing with your altitude from the equation there are some very basic similarities between the two.

But sadly, there’s just nothing satisfying about the very slow rate at which the game adds new elements. Yes, there will be ramps, spots that are electrified, spring-loaded floor tiles, and some other things the game will throw at you, but fundamentally not a whole lot changes either, and it’s clear that outside of some new cosmetic looks for your people, that the game very quickly runs out of ideas. Even as a free game on your phone, you’d likely tire of this in no time at all, earning it a Shovelware Nonsense distinction.